As a single adult, I occasionally read or even post dating ads on Craigslist. I have met only a handful of men this way, and nothing much to speak about: It's seldom gone past a first meeting, but you never know if you'll meet someone who could become a good friend, so I'm open to the idea. Not long ago, I wrote an ad to all men, essentially begging them to write better ads and letters:
--------------------------------------------------------
"To: ALL MEN - 45 (Sparks)
To all the men who post: Only about 10% of the readers of the Craigslist personals are women. If you want a woman to respond to your ad, you have to write something that grabs her attention.
Don't say general things such as:
"I want someone cute." "I want someone attractive"... Those terms are meaningless, as beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And since many women don't believe they are beautiful, they won't answer your ad.
"I want someone hwp". Do you realize that 60% of women aren't? And the ones who are, probably aren't looking on Craigslist.
If you ask for perfection... hwp, thin, attractive, smart, funny, has a job, a house and a car... then you'd better be perfect too.
If you are a serious guy, say so. If you're funny, say so.
Saying "I like to have fun" means nothing. Different people have different ideas of fun.
Saying a woman must send a picture first is a bad thing. We can be frightened or hurt by men, and we would like to see what you look like first, so we can feel assured that you don't look like a serial killer (trust me, I've seen plenty of those here.)
List some of your favorite activities that you might like to share with a woman.
Don't gripe about all the women who have done you wrong, don't call your ex a bitch, and don't ask that the woman has no baggage. Everyone has baggage, including you. Women are more accepting of your baggage than you are of ours.
DO:
Write at least one full paragraph, preferably two or three. A large number of men here post one or two sentences and expect someone to answer the ad. We won't. We will answer the ad of the man who tells us about himself, whose ad makes us laugh or smile.
If you post a picture, make sure you are smiling, that the picture is right side up, and that you don't look crazy in it. Best not to post the pic of you at your buddy's bachelor party. If you want love, don't post a pic of you naked or even half naked. Make sure we can see your face clearly. This also goes for pics emailed to responders of the ad.
But whatever you do:
SAY SOMETHING that makes you different from all the rest of the men here.
PROOFREAD AND SPELL CHECK. I personally won't answer an ad if most of the words are misspelled or if the ad doesn't make sense. Have someone proof it for you, or at least run spell check. And there is a difference between women and woman. They are not interchangeable.
And my best advice is, ask a female friend to read it before you post it, and even ask her to write it for you.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU!"
--------------------------------------------------------
Funny, I mistyped my own age. Oops. But not that it matters in this instance really, since I wasn't trying to find a date. :D
Anyhow, you wouldn't believe how many men wrote to me, telling me how women are worse than men, although in research for writing, I have viewed other women's ads and we are much more likely to write a better ad than men (statistically speaking). Today I got a letter responding to this ALL MEN post. Please try to refrain from laughing. I dare you!
--------------------------------------------------------
"You are completely right on everything you posted! But that goes both ways! The very things you are talking about men doing or not doing are the same things I see women doing on here. Do you think men can't be hurt by what a woman says or does? If you do your wrong! Real men do have feelings to! I don't like ads with miss spelled words or abbreviated words! I personally think it shows a lack of carrying! As not everyone knows what your saying when you abbreviate several words together with a few letters! In my opinion that's the same as miss spelling words!
So basically what I'm saying to you and all women is practice what you preach!"
--------------------------------------------------------
I decided to color the misspelled or misused words and the odd statement that I'm not quite sure what he means, just for fun. Yes, because I'm just that mean. I am always amused when people misspell the word "misspell." Yep, practice what you preach. :D
Anyhow, enjoy the fodder and be thankful if you are in a relationship and don't have to deal with this crazy dating pool.
Sigh.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Advertising Annoyances
It's one of those days. I can't sleep, even though I'm so sleepy. The TV is on and certain commercials just irritate the heck out of me. Especially the ones where the narrator mispronounces a word.
Today's offenders:
The first is for the Motorcycle Mechanics Institute, where the host says he wants to excape. I kid you not. You'd think that English is his second language, but sadly, no, he has no accent.
The second is for Humira (a drug) and mentions seeing a "gastroinnerologist." I listen to it again and again, and never do I hear a "t" which would make it the actual word, "gastroenterologist."
The Marinello Beauty School ads (in general). The new one features an "interviewer" who speaks English rather poorly, and when she says, "Turning dreams into reality" it sounds like she says, "Turning rims into reality."
An older ad asks, "How do you say 'Marinello'?" You just told me. The question should be something like, "How do you say, 'beauty'?" Then it would make sense.
I don't understand why it's become so popular to feature narrators/actors in commercials who have speech impediments. I see more and more of them. Isn't the point of most ads to make the product look good, to put the best foot forward? How does a speech impediment do that exactly? And the trend for actors who speak in a nasally, whiney tone just irritates the heck out of my ears. I just don't understand why... why... WHY they think it sounds good. It was funny when Lily Tomlin talked like that as Ernestine the telephone operator, but it's not funny or cute for actors to talk that way in a commercial. Please stop that trend!
I'm always amazed at a certain local restaurant who advertises they sell Expressos. It's spelled correctly on the screen, but they've had numerous ads where the announcers (some male, some female) all say "Expresso" when it should be "Espresso."
Charter cable TV has an ad that claims it costs "Four times less" than... whatever. And I noticed another commercial stating that you use "Three times less" detergent or whatever they are selling. While technically there is a mathematical answer to 4 times less, it really shouldn't be used in this way. It would make more sense to everyone to just say, "One quarter the amount," as opposed to "Four times less. (Technically, four times less means one fifth, not one quarter.)
And when did it become popular in commercials to use the word "less" when it should be "fewer"? Less is a measure of volume, fewer is a measure of quantity. There aren't "less germs," but there are fewer germs.
I guess they are all better than the late-night ads for the Pos-T-Vac, penis sucking machine. I have all but stopped watching "Quantum Leap" at night because of the offensive ad. I just don't get why any man would actually go on TV and tell people his penis doesn't work. "I'm like 'Wow, this really works'" claims one man. And medicare will pay for it if you qualify. Of course they will: Men write the laws for the most part. Every man wants a machine that sucks his penis. (That's how it works, in case you think I'm joking.) There is one guy in the ad that has a really bad toupee and he couldn't smile any bigger if he tried. He just creeps me out, reminds me of a guy who might hang out near schools and molest small children. Just picture him sitting in his car, watching the children while his penis is stuck in the Pos-T-Vac. Yeech... *shiver*
The other day I heard (I was in the kitchen so I didn't see it) a commercial that was for some sort of erectile dysfunction product, I don't remember if it was a drug or a device, and it actually said, "It makes him so hard." OMG. They didn't just say that on TV, did they? Oh yes they did, and they kept repeating it. I actually came back in and turned the TV channel. Children could be watching that!
On a happier note, I just realized that the new FreeCreditReport.com ad has the original band, featuring Eric Violette, returning to claim its rightful place. I never did care much for the second band, and Eric is so adorable, he makes me actually want to watch the commercial. I just wish they didn't have the band singing in the overproduced, hip-hop-y, crappy style they usually do.
And while I'm talking commercials, I have to say I like the Allstate "Mayhem Man." He cracks me up. And I love the Geico piggy. So full of glee... Wheeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
Today's offenders:
The first is for the Motorcycle Mechanics Institute, where the host says he wants to excape. I kid you not. You'd think that English is his second language, but sadly, no, he has no accent.
The second is for Humira (a drug) and mentions seeing a "gastroinnerologist." I listen to it again and again, and never do I hear a "t" which would make it the actual word, "gastroenterologist."
The Marinello Beauty School ads (in general). The new one features an "interviewer" who speaks English rather poorly, and when she says, "Turning dreams into reality" it sounds like she says, "Turning rims into reality."
An older ad asks, "How do you say 'Marinello'?" You just told me. The question should be something like, "How do you say, 'beauty'?" Then it would make sense.
I don't understand why it's become so popular to feature narrators/actors in commercials who have speech impediments. I see more and more of them. Isn't the point of most ads to make the product look good, to put the best foot forward? How does a speech impediment do that exactly? And the trend for actors who speak in a nasally, whiney tone just irritates the heck out of my ears. I just don't understand why... why... WHY they think it sounds good. It was funny when Lily Tomlin talked like that as Ernestine the telephone operator, but it's not funny or cute for actors to talk that way in a commercial. Please stop that trend!
I'm always amazed at a certain local restaurant who advertises they sell Expressos. It's spelled correctly on the screen, but they've had numerous ads where the announcers (some male, some female) all say "Expresso" when it should be "Espresso."
Charter cable TV has an ad that claims it costs "Four times less" than... whatever. And I noticed another commercial stating that you use "Three times less" detergent or whatever they are selling. While technically there is a mathematical answer to 4 times less, it really shouldn't be used in this way. It would make more sense to everyone to just say, "One quarter the amount," as opposed to "Four times less. (Technically, four times less means one fifth, not one quarter.)
And when did it become popular in commercials to use the word "less" when it should be "fewer"? Less is a measure of volume, fewer is a measure of quantity. There aren't "less germs," but there are fewer germs.
I guess they are all better than the late-night ads for the Pos-T-Vac, penis sucking machine. I have all but stopped watching "Quantum Leap" at night because of the offensive ad. I just don't get why any man would actually go on TV and tell people his penis doesn't work. "I'm like 'Wow, this really works'" claims one man. And medicare will pay for it if you qualify. Of course they will: Men write the laws for the most part. Every man wants a machine that sucks his penis. (That's how it works, in case you think I'm joking.) There is one guy in the ad that has a really bad toupee and he couldn't smile any bigger if he tried. He just creeps me out, reminds me of a guy who might hang out near schools and molest small children. Just picture him sitting in his car, watching the children while his penis is stuck in the Pos-T-Vac. Yeech... *shiver*
The other day I heard (I was in the kitchen so I didn't see it) a commercial that was for some sort of erectile dysfunction product, I don't remember if it was a drug or a device, and it actually said, "It makes him so hard." OMG. They didn't just say that on TV, did they? Oh yes they did, and they kept repeating it. I actually came back in and turned the TV channel. Children could be watching that!
On a happier note, I just realized that the new FreeCreditReport.com ad has the original band, featuring Eric Violette, returning to claim its rightful place. I never did care much for the second band, and Eric is so adorable, he makes me actually want to watch the commercial. I just wish they didn't have the band singing in the overproduced, hip-hop-y, crappy style they usually do.
And while I'm talking commercials, I have to say I like the Allstate "Mayhem Man." He cracks me up. And I love the Geico piggy. So full of glee... Wheeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Want Some Whine With That?
Tony Harnell, former lead vocalist for the 80s band, TNT, posted on Facebook about how frustrating it is when you're a rock star and people don't cater to you and do exactly what you want them to. He works so hard, and people should do as he wishes. Unfortunately, I didn't copy it down, but that's basically what he was saying. He said he was venting.
Years ago, I was a big fan, and wrote to him probably every week. I was young and stupid, didn't think about how freaky it must be to have people send you letters as if they knew you personally. I never attempted to meet him, but I did do one crazy thing: I lived in the state in which he was born, and this was way back before we'd ever heard of stalkers, so I bought a copy of his birth certificate, so I could get the time of day he was born to do a natal astrology report. OK, it's over the top, and you can't do that these days, laws have changed, but it was a way to connect with the singer I almost worshiped. But after I got the information from it, I didn't need the birth certificate anymore, so I mailed it to him. And he actually called me, which at the time I thought was the coolest thing ever, but later realized he probably called to make sure I wasn't a legitimate threat. And I was pretty much over him by that time anyway. I stopped writing to him shortly after.
So back to my story...
Yesterday he posted and whined about how he's not treated right... blah blah blah, whine whine whine. Most of the fan comments were like, "Oh you poor thing" and "I know you work so hard. You deserve so much better." I wrote that he shouldn't complain when there are people who work much harder than he does and will never have the success he's had. I wrote a lot more, but that was my point.
His fans all disagreed with me, but not too big a surprise, really, since it's his fan page. A few postings later, I'd had it with his whining and "shared" what he said on my own Facebook page, for all my friends to read what a whiny... he is... Although I didn't swear or anything.
He didn't like that, I guess, so Big Man that he is, he removed the entire posting and posted this in its place:
Years ago, I was a big fan, and wrote to him probably every week. I was young and stupid, didn't think about how freaky it must be to have people send you letters as if they knew you personally. I never attempted to meet him, but I did do one crazy thing: I lived in the state in which he was born, and this was way back before we'd ever heard of stalkers, so I bought a copy of his birth certificate, so I could get the time of day he was born to do a natal astrology report. OK, it's over the top, and you can't do that these days, laws have changed, but it was a way to connect with the singer I almost worshiped. But after I got the information from it, I didn't need the birth certificate anymore, so I mailed it to him. And he actually called me, which at the time I thought was the coolest thing ever, but later realized he probably called to make sure I wasn't a legitimate threat. And I was pretty much over him by that time anyway. I stopped writing to him shortly after.
So back to my story...
Yesterday he posted and whined about how he's not treated right... blah blah blah, whine whine whine. Most of the fan comments were like, "Oh you poor thing" and "I know you work so hard. You deserve so much better." I wrote that he shouldn't complain when there are people who work much harder than he does and will never have the success he's had. I wrote a lot more, but that was my point.
His fans all disagreed with me, but not too big a surprise, really, since it's his fan page. A few postings later, I'd had it with his whining and "shared" what he said on my own Facebook page, for all my friends to read what a whiny... he is... Although I didn't swear or anything.
He didn't like that, I guess, so Big Man that he is, he removed the entire posting and posted this in its place:
"Sorry
folks, had to delete that last post due to a rather unstable, disturbed
person posting messages here who identified herself as someone I
actually almost had to contact the authorities about some 20+ years ago.
They've been banned for safety and security reasons. I will from now on
have to be more careful about what and how I post. Such a shame as you
have all come to know me as honest and real. I'll do my best, but this
one freaked me out big time. Love, TH"
I like that, "banned for safety and security reasons". Of course, not because I was speaking the truth. I'm actually highly amused at what a panty-waste he is. How did I ever like him in the first place? No wonder he's not more famous than he is. How many of you reading this have ever HEARD of him? Other than Shawn, who knows who everyone is. :D
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Martabating And Daryl's House
When I was in school in Atlanta (1992), I knew a DJ, Blake aka Bladerunner. He was, and still is, a creative guy, and had this song, "Martabating." And he made a video, which I was lucky enough to be involved in the making of, although due to me being camera shy, I'm not in the video. If you watch the video (see list of links), forgive the nudity, I was NOT there for those parts, and was very surprised when I saw the final cut at the premiere. No, I'm not a prude, but I don't think it was actually necessary.
When the band is on what looks like a large rock, that's on top of Stone Mountain near Atlanta, and the band is Mess of Bones, which I find interesting since my old friend, SuSu, knew the band from when they were in Alabama, and well, small world. The parts on the Marta trains was a blast, and I actually intended to be in the video, but when we got onto the train, they went to the right and I went to the left, so I'm right behind the cameraman. The other friends on the train were all really nice, although I didn't know them well. Hung out with Jaymz and Whoremoan a few times.
Some bad things happened in Atlanta, mainly having to do with a couple of "friends" stabbing me in the back, but we did some crazy stuff and most of the time I had a blast. Blake and his group were always fun, met several rock stars, and we were always doing something.
* * * * * * * * *
I have discovered a new show on TV, and it is also a web program, called "Live From Daryl's House." It stars Daryl Hall, and he has a different musical guest each week. I don't always watch, depends upon the guest, but if you like music, it's a find.
I guess I could say I owe much of my musical education to Mr. Hall, since I saw Hall & Oates hosting "The Midnight Special" back when I was twelve (1978). They went inside a recording studio, and that was the coolest thing I'd ever seen. I thought he was gorgeous, and I was hooked on him and the show. I don't think I ever missed an episode from then on. I even managed to get my mom to watch with me sometimes. It was a great show, and I'm going to have to go watch some episodes on Hulu soon. So many bands and comedians made appearances and I'm sure I saw acts that most other kids my age had never even heard of. I still love so many of them today. Ahh, back in the day when Rock 'n Roll was really Rock 'n Roll...
When the band is on what looks like a large rock, that's on top of Stone Mountain near Atlanta, and the band is Mess of Bones, which I find interesting since my old friend, SuSu, knew the band from when they were in Alabama, and well, small world. The parts on the Marta trains was a blast, and I actually intended to be in the video, but when we got onto the train, they went to the right and I went to the left, so I'm right behind the cameraman. The other friends on the train were all really nice, although I didn't know them well. Hung out with Jaymz and Whoremoan a few times.
Some bad things happened in Atlanta, mainly having to do with a couple of "friends" stabbing me in the back, but we did some crazy stuff and most of the time I had a blast. Blake and his group were always fun, met several rock stars, and we were always doing something.
* * * * * * * * *
I have discovered a new show on TV, and it is also a web program, called "Live From Daryl's House." It stars Daryl Hall, and he has a different musical guest each week. I don't always watch, depends upon the guest, but if you like music, it's a find.
I guess I could say I owe much of my musical education to Mr. Hall, since I saw Hall & Oates hosting "The Midnight Special" back when I was twelve (1978). They went inside a recording studio, and that was the coolest thing I'd ever seen. I thought he was gorgeous, and I was hooked on him and the show. I don't think I ever missed an episode from then on. I even managed to get my mom to watch with me sometimes. It was a great show, and I'm going to have to go watch some episodes on Hulu soon. So many bands and comedians made appearances and I'm sure I saw acts that most other kids my age had never even heard of. I still love so many of them today. Ahh, back in the day when Rock 'n Roll was really Rock 'n Roll...
Missing...
I originally started this blog to post my daily thoughts and interesting things I see or find, then I took a bit of a break from it. So I'm planning to start up again, and stick to it this time.
I've been feeling a bit (a lot) melancholy lately, missing some people from my past. It started when I decided to add a video to my Vevo playlist, but the video I wanted wasn't available, so I searched for it and ended up at Youtube. The video was Trixter's "Give It To Me Good," btw. So I started a playlist, and started adding songs, and found a video for Eric Carmen's old song, "Hey Deanie." Which made me think of a guy I used to know back in junior high, er... middle school. His name was Robert, and he was the "Yard duty supervisor." Sort of a babysitter on the playground at lunchtime. I was a bit of a weird kid, and told him my name was Deanie, because of the song. He was in college and I was in sixth grade, and I was so crazy about him. My friends and I would mostly hang out with him and talk. He knew I liked him, it was rather obvious, but he was always so cool about it. He never made me feel like he didn't want me around. He worked at the school at least partway through my eighth grade year, and he was my friend. Really a friend. Some guys might have taken advantage of the situation, but he never crossed the line. He graduated college, though, and went on with his life.
About eleven years later, my sister and I were shopping at a department store, and my sister asked me, "Isn't that the guy you liked in junior high?" Lo and behold, it was him. We chatted for a few minutes, but his boss was near so he couldn't talk long. We exchanged email addresses, but when I went to contact him, I'd remembered his address wrong and couldn't find him. I never saw or heard from him again. A few years ago, I was walking home from the bus stop and it's vague, but I saw a truck parked at a house, and it had his last name on the truck... some sort of business sign. I asked the man with the truck if he knew Robert, and he said he was his brother. I asked about Robert, and was told he'd moved back east. I asked that he pass on the message that I'd asked about him and the man said he would. As I was walking away, Robert's father asked the man (Robert's brother), "Why'd you tell her that?" I thought that meant he had no intention of telling Robert about it, but didn't think too much about it.
So I added the song to my playlist and thought about Robert and wondered what became him, so I started searching the internet for him. I'm not a member of the pay sites where you find people, so it was difficult to find anything. But I found one thing: A death record. I didn't know for sure if it was him, but then I remembered talking to his brother, and it made sense. He died in 1997, and I had no idea. What started out as this wonderful idea of finding my friend turned into something I never expected, and was horrified to learn. I have no idea what happened to him, he wasn't that old, I can't find anything about it, not even an obituary. I guess it isn't important how, anyway. It just really hit me hard. He was a sweet person, and I will miss him forever.
In my melancholy, I started looking for other people from my past. Another video, another search, and I discovered the lead singer from SouthGang, Jesse Harte, (look them up) has a new band called Bloody Red Hearts, which I think is great. I met him a few times, a really sweet guy. Which led to me searching (for like the dozenth time) for another old friend, Blake, who introduced me to Jesse, and this search actually found him. I sent him a message and hope he'll write back.
So I've had a very up-and-down week as far as old friends go. Let's hope the coming week is on the happier side of things.
Treasure the people you love, and make sure you tell them often how you feel about them. And be good to each other.
I've been feeling a bit (a lot) melancholy lately, missing some people from my past. It started when I decided to add a video to my Vevo playlist, but the video I wanted wasn't available, so I searched for it and ended up at Youtube. The video was Trixter's "Give It To Me Good," btw. So I started a playlist, and started adding songs, and found a video for Eric Carmen's old song, "Hey Deanie." Which made me think of a guy I used to know back in junior high, er... middle school. His name was Robert, and he was the "Yard duty supervisor." Sort of a babysitter on the playground at lunchtime. I was a bit of a weird kid, and told him my name was Deanie, because of the song. He was in college and I was in sixth grade, and I was so crazy about him. My friends and I would mostly hang out with him and talk. He knew I liked him, it was rather obvious, but he was always so cool about it. He never made me feel like he didn't want me around. He worked at the school at least partway through my eighth grade year, and he was my friend. Really a friend. Some guys might have taken advantage of the situation, but he never crossed the line. He graduated college, though, and went on with his life.
About eleven years later, my sister and I were shopping at a department store, and my sister asked me, "Isn't that the guy you liked in junior high?" Lo and behold, it was him. We chatted for a few minutes, but his boss was near so he couldn't talk long. We exchanged email addresses, but when I went to contact him, I'd remembered his address wrong and couldn't find him. I never saw or heard from him again. A few years ago, I was walking home from the bus stop and it's vague, but I saw a truck parked at a house, and it had his last name on the truck... some sort of business sign. I asked the man with the truck if he knew Robert, and he said he was his brother. I asked about Robert, and was told he'd moved back east. I asked that he pass on the message that I'd asked about him and the man said he would. As I was walking away, Robert's father asked the man (Robert's brother), "Why'd you tell her that?" I thought that meant he had no intention of telling Robert about it, but didn't think too much about it.
So I added the song to my playlist and thought about Robert and wondered what became him, so I started searching the internet for him. I'm not a member of the pay sites where you find people, so it was difficult to find anything. But I found one thing: A death record. I didn't know for sure if it was him, but then I remembered talking to his brother, and it made sense. He died in 1997, and I had no idea. What started out as this wonderful idea of finding my friend turned into something I never expected, and was horrified to learn. I have no idea what happened to him, he wasn't that old, I can't find anything about it, not even an obituary. I guess it isn't important how, anyway. It just really hit me hard. He was a sweet person, and I will miss him forever.
In my melancholy, I started looking for other people from my past. Another video, another search, and I discovered the lead singer from SouthGang, Jesse Harte, (look them up) has a new band called Bloody Red Hearts, which I think is great. I met him a few times, a really sweet guy. Which led to me searching (for like the dozenth time) for another old friend, Blake, who introduced me to Jesse, and this search actually found him. I sent him a message and hope he'll write back.
So I've had a very up-and-down week as far as old friends go. Let's hope the coming week is on the happier side of things.
Treasure the people you love, and make sure you tell them often how you feel about them. And be good to each other.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
SCAM EMAIL
I got this email today. OMG what a bunch of bull. DO NOT send money to people who send letters like this. PLEASE!
I'm writing this with tears in my eyes
From: R. Jacob Benzaquen <rjbz554@yahoo.com>
To: undisclosed recipients
Date: Sat, May 12, 2012 6:38 am
I'm writing this with tears in my eyes, my family and i came down here to Manila Philippines on a Short vacation unfortunately we got mugged at the park of the hotel where we stayed,all cash,credit card and cell were stolen off us but luckily for us we still have our passports with us.
We've been to the embassy and the Police here, but they're not helping the issues at all and our flight leaves in a couple of hours but we're having problems settling the hotel bills and the hotel manager won't let me leave until i settle the bills
I'm freaked out at the moment....
Best Regards
Rabbi Jacob Benzaquen
Kings Park Jewish Center, NY
NOTE: This communication is Legally protected, is for informational purposes and is intended for the addressee, only. All Rights Reserved. Please consider the environment before printing my email.
I'm writing this with tears in my eyes
From: R. Jacob Benzaquen <rjbz554@yahoo.com>
To: undisclosed recipients
Date: Sat, May 12, 2012 6:38 am
I'm writing this with tears in my eyes, my family and i came down here to Manila Philippines on a Short vacation unfortunately we got mugged at the park of the hotel where we stayed,all cash,credit card and cell were stolen off us but luckily for us we still have our passports with us.
We've been to the embassy and the Police here, but they're not helping the issues at all and our flight leaves in a couple of hours but we're having problems settling the hotel bills and the hotel manager won't let me leave until i settle the bills
I'm freaked out at the moment....
Best Regards
Rabbi Jacob Benzaquen
Kings Park Jewish Center, NY
NOTE: This communication is Legally protected, is for informational purposes and is intended for the addressee, only. All Rights Reserved. Please consider the environment before printing my email.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
English Misinterpretations
A friend sent this to me, and I had to post. Just too funny.
English Misinterpretations.
In a Bangkok Temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
Doctor's office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Dry cleaners, Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.
In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
On the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.
In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
In a Cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
In a Tokyo Bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS. (Just Like British Airways!!!)
A Laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
And
finally the all time classic:
Seen in an Abu Dhabi Souk shop window:
IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE…
…. Priceless!
Seen in an Abu Dhabi Souk shop window:
IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE…
…. Priceless!
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