As a single adult, I occasionally read or even post dating ads on Craigslist. I have met only a handful of men this way, and nothing much to speak about: It's seldom gone past a first meeting, but you never know if you'll meet someone who could become a good friend, so I'm open to the idea. Not long ago, I wrote an ad to all men, essentially begging them to write better ads and letters:
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"To: ALL MEN - 45 (Sparks)
To all the men who post: Only about 10% of the readers of the Craigslist personals are women. If you want a woman to respond to your ad, you have to write something that grabs her attention.
Don't say general things such as:
"I want someone cute." "I want someone attractive"... Those terms are meaningless, as beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And since many women don't believe they are beautiful, they won't answer your ad.
"I want someone hwp". Do you realize that 60% of women aren't? And the ones who are, probably aren't looking on Craigslist.
If you ask for perfection... hwp, thin, attractive, smart, funny, has a job, a house and a car... then you'd better be perfect too.
If you are a serious guy, say so. If you're funny, say so.
Saying "I like to have fun" means nothing. Different people have different ideas of fun.
Saying a woman must send a picture first is a bad thing. We can be frightened or hurt by men, and we would like to see what you look like first, so we can feel assured that you don't look like a serial killer (trust me, I've seen plenty of those here.)
List some of your favorite activities that you might like to share with a woman.
Don't gripe about all the women who have done you wrong, don't call your ex a bitch, and don't ask that the woman has no baggage. Everyone has baggage, including you. Women are more accepting of your baggage than you are of ours.
DO:
Write at least one full paragraph, preferably two or three. A large number of men here post one or two sentences and expect someone to answer the ad. We won't. We will answer the ad of the man who tells us about himself, whose ad makes us laugh or smile.
If you post a picture, make sure you are smiling, that the picture is right side up, and that you don't look crazy in it. Best not to post the pic of you at your buddy's bachelor party. If you want love, don't post a pic of you naked or even half naked. Make sure we can see your face clearly. This also goes for pics emailed to responders of the ad.
But whatever you do:
SAY SOMETHING that makes you different from all the rest of the men here.
PROOFREAD AND SPELL CHECK. I personally won't answer an ad if most of the words are misspelled or if the ad doesn't make sense. Have someone proof it for you, or at least run spell check. And there is a difference between women and woman. They are not interchangeable.
And my best advice is, ask a female friend to read it before you post it, and even ask her to write it for you.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU!"
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Funny, I mistyped my own age. Oops. But not that it matters in this instance really, since I wasn't trying to find a date. :D
Anyhow, you wouldn't believe how many men wrote to me, telling me how women are worse than men, although in research for writing, I have viewed other women's ads and we are much more likely to write a better ad than men (statistically speaking). Today I got a letter responding to this ALL MEN post. Please try to refrain from laughing. I dare you!
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"You are completely right on everything you posted! But that goes both ways! The very things you are talking about men doing or not doing are the same things I see women doing on here. Do you think men can't be hurt by what a woman says or does? If you do your wrong! Real men do have feelings to! I don't like ads with miss spelled words or abbreviated words! I personally think it shows a lack of carrying! As not everyone knows what your saying when you abbreviate several words together with a few letters! In my opinion that's the same as miss spelling words!
So basically what I'm saying to you and all women is practice what you preach!"
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I decided to color the misspelled or misused words and the odd statement that I'm not quite sure what he means, just for fun. Yes, because I'm just that mean. I am always amused when people misspell the word "misspell." Yep, practice what you preach. :D
Anyhow, enjoy the fodder and be thankful if you are in a relationship and don't have to deal with this crazy dating pool.
Sigh.
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