Advertising Annoyances

It's one of those days.  I can't sleep, even though I'm so sleepy.  The TV is on and certain commercials just irritate the heck out of me.  Especially the ones where the narrator mispronounces a word. 

Today's offenders: 

The first is for the Motorcycle Mechanics Institute, where the host says he wants to excape.  I kid you not.  You'd think that English is his second language, but sadly, no, he has no accent.

The second is for Humira (a drug) and mentions seeing a "gastroinnerologist."  I listen to it again and again, and never do I hear a "t" which would make it the actual word, "gastroenterologist."

The Marinello Beauty School ads (in general).  The new one features an "interviewer" who speaks English rather poorly, and when she says, "Turning dreams into reality" it sounds like she says, "Turning rims into reality."
An older ad asks, "How do you say 'Marinello'?"  You just told me.  The question should be something like, "How do you say, 'beauty'?"  Then it would make sense.

I don't understand why it's become so popular to feature narrators/actors in commercials who have speech impediments.  I see more and more of them.  Isn't the point of most ads to make the product look good, to put the best foot forward?  How does a speech impediment do that exactly?  And the trend for actors who speak in a nasally, whiney tone just irritates the heck out of my ears.  I just don't understand why... why... WHY they think it sounds good.  It was funny when Lily Tomlin talked like that as Ernestine the telephone operator, but it's not funny or cute for actors to talk that way in a commercial.  Please stop that trend!

I'm always amazed at a certain local restaurant who advertises they sell Expressos.  It's spelled correctly on the screen, but they've had numerous ads where the announcers (some male, some female) all say "Expresso" when it should be "Espresso."

Charter cable TV has an ad that claims it costs "Four times less" than... whatever.  And I noticed another commercial stating that you use "Three times less" detergent or whatever they are selling.  While technically there is a mathematical answer to 4 times less, it really shouldn't be used in this way.  It would make more sense to everyone to just say, "One quarter the amount," as opposed to "Four times less.  (Technically, four times less means one fifth, not one quarter.)

And when did it become popular in commercials to use the word "less" when it should be "fewer"?  Less is a measure of volume, fewer is a measure of quantity.  There aren't "less germs," but there are fewer germs.

I guess they are all better than the late-night ads for the Pos-T-Vac, penis sucking machine.  I have all but stopped watching "Quantum Leap" at night because of the offensive ad.  I just don't get why any man would actually go on TV and tell people his penis doesn't work.  "I'm like 'Wow, this really works'" claims one man.  And medicare will pay for it if you qualify.  Of course they will:  Men write the laws for the most part.  Every man wants a machine that sucks his penis.  (That's how it works, in case you think I'm joking.)  There is one guy in the ad that has a really bad toupee and he couldn't smile any bigger if he tried.  He just creeps me out, reminds me of a guy who might hang out near schools and molest small children.  Just picture him sitting in his car, watching the children while his penis is stuck in the Pos-T-Vac.  Yeech... *shiver*

The other day I heard (I was in the kitchen so I didn't see it) a commercial that was for some sort of erectile dysfunction product, I don't remember if it was a drug or a device, and it actually said, "It makes him so hard."  OMG.  They didn't just say that on TV, did they?  Oh yes they did, and they kept repeating it.  I actually came back in and turned the TV channel.  Children could be watching that!

On a happier note, I just realized that the new FreeCreditReport.com ad has the original band, featuring Eric Violette, returning to claim its rightful place.  I never did care much for the second band, and Eric is so adorable, he makes me actually want to watch the commercial.  I just wish they didn't have the band singing in the overproduced, hip-hop-y, crappy style they usually do.

And while I'm talking commercials, I have to say I like the Allstate "Mayhem Man."  He cracks me up. And I love the Geico piggy.  So full of glee... Wheeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!